Naruto Couples
by Magic Mongol
Summary: A collection of shourt dialogues of the would-be Naruto Couples. Complete crack, courtesy of Magic Mongol. Various pairings.


**A/N**

**This idea is originally from a fic called Hunter X Hunter Couples by u don't need to know... I thought it would be fun if Naruto would also have something like this...So...there! Oh yeah, this is also my first fic** **that was posted here in so please be nice and no flaming! No offense to fans out there...Gomen for the long note..**

**WARNING: Might contain incoherent language! Characters are OOC! Yaoi/shounen-ai and slight yuri/shoujo-ai included!**

**Disclaimer: Naruto's not mine... If I were the creator of Naruto, I'd make it into a yaoi.. But unfortunately, I'm not..**

**Please R&R! Every review counts! Thanks!**

_italics:_ thoughts, actions

* * *

**xxxNaruto Couplesxxx**

* * *

lllNaruSasulll 

Naru: Sasuke, I have gathered all my courage just to say to you that..I love, okay?

Sasu: -_..reads script..- _to the author tell me, why do I have to do this again?

Author: ...read the bottom part of the script..the one marked with an asterisk, after Sakura's line..-_points to the piece of paper-_

Sasu: -_reads..mutters...- _say your lines and I will give you a hundred boxes of Mr. Choco Robo Pudding ll1ll..come on, you know you can't resist...tch..worthless bribe..

_Naruto sneaks off to find the boxes_

Author: What did you say? -_calls Itachi-_ Itachi-kun? Sasuke was peep..-_Sasuke covers her mouth_.._glares-_..umf..umff..uumfphtt..

Sasu: Fuck you author...

Author:_ -struggles..was able to get out of Sasuke-chicken's hold..glares back..-_

Jackass.. Get on with it! I'm not paying you for nothing!

Sasu: -_mutters incoherent words..-_ I love you too, Naruto...

_Naruto returns with a mouth smeared with chocolate, a shirt with chocolate stains..._

Naru: Did you say something, Sasuke?

Sasu: -_sighs deeply_...- iloveyou..

Naru: ...ooooohhhhhh...let's get married!

-after the marriage-

Sasu: Where's my chocolate?

Author: ...Naruto ate it...

* * *

lllSasuSakulll 

Sasu: -_faces Sakura_..- Sakura, even though you're more annoying than Ino, has an admirably over large forehead accompanied by a large brain that is much capable of thinking than mine, is weak and keeps on daydreaming about me even in missions, is flat-chested, has an insane inner self, is the president of my fanclub that does nothing but to run after me all day, I'd like you to know that I'm falling for you!

Saku: Sasuke-kun, even if you act stoically around people all the time, even if you are a know-it-all bastard, an asshole who thinks about avenging his clan all the time, has a head that has raven blue hair that is shaped like that of a chicken, accompanied by a brain which filled of nothing but hot gas, who kept on declining my offer for lunch and simple dates, I'd like to tell you that I've loved you since we were kids and there is no way that I would renounce my undying love for you!

Sasu: -_blnkblink..-_

* * *

lllKakaSakulll 

Saku: ...

Kaka: ...

Saku: ...

Kaka: ...so, would you mind kissing me?

Saku: ...Pervert! -_slaps Kakashi REALLY hard_...- Well, as long as you take that mask off of your face...

* * *

lllKakaSasulll 

KakaSasu: -_hugs_...- I LOVE YOU!

* * *

lllKakaNarulll 

Kaka: ...

Naru: ...

Kaka: ...can you use your Sexy no Jutsu and pose for Jiraiya's Icha-Icha Paradise?

Naru: NEVER! ESPECIALLY FOR AN OLD PERVERTED SENNIN LIKE THAT!

Kaka: You will get sixty-four bowls of ramen from Ichiraku for every shoot...

Naru: Sure!

* * *

lllNejiSakulll 

Saku: Stop staring at me! Your eyes..They're too creepy..and white..white? Shit..you don't even have pupils, for God's sake! They seem to drown me, to pull me into swirls of endless oblivion... It's opaque but seems transparent..no..translucent..opaque? white!... waaaahhh! I'm getting confused! You're—..

_Neji silenced Sakura with a kiss_

Neji: Ssshh.. you're too loud..Besides, I can't help it. I love you..-_turns slightly pink-_

Saku: N-neji-kun..Aishiteru! -_blushesdeep scarlet-_

* * *

lllLeeSakulll 

Lee: I know you know this Sakura-san, I've said it numerous times before.. And I'm saying it once again... I love you.

Saku: That's really nice of you, Lee-san. Thanks.. -_walks away..-_

Lee: That's it? No goodbye kisses or a simple 'I love you too'?...-_gets teary-eyed-_

_Gai suddenly pops out of nowhere_

Gai: Don't worry, Lee! Gai-sensei's still here! Would you mind trimming my perfect bowl-cut hair? The other side seems to grow faster than the right side, making it uneven..

Lee: -_sniffles..- _Thanks, Gai-sensei. I promise I'll never fail you!

Gai: ...uhh, yeah whatever...-_mumbles_-..I shouldn't have trusted TenTen with my shiny, wonderful, semi-circle shaped hair..

* * *

lllNejiLeelll 

NejiLee: Okay...So what's wrong with the author?

* * *

lllTenTenLeelll 

Lee: You have nice hair..You will do.. I'll see if Gai-sensei and my adorable look would look ravishing on girls...

TenTen: NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOO! HELLLLLPPP MMMMEEEEE!

* * *

lllNejiTenTenlll 

Neji: What the fuck happened to your head?

TenTen: Lee did it!

Lee: TenTen-chan? Where are you? We haven't applied shoeshine on your hair yet!

And your eyebrows...

* * *

lllNaruLeelll 

NaruLee: Does the author really have this bad taste?

* * *

lllSasuNejilll 

Sasu: -.._pins Neji to the wall..lips slightly touching..-_ Neji, I've been longing to tell you that..

Neji: There's no need, Uchiha..

SasuNeji: ILOVEYOU! -..._both turns green..turns around..pukes..-_

Neji: -.._murmurs_..- Good thing the author promised me eighty-seven boxes of hair gel and hair conditioner if I'd do this..

Sasu: -.._to himself..-_ so that's your secret, eh?... -_smirks-_ Hey, Neji! Can you give me tips on taking care of my hair, nails and stuff?

Neji: Sure! As long as you give me a free pedicure!

SasuNeji: -_giggles girlishly_-

lllSasuLeelll

SasuLee: Is the author this desperate?

Author: No, I'm not..

* * *

lllSasuInolll 

_Sasuke holds Ino's hand.._

Ino: S-sasuke-kun! -_blushes..to herself-_ Beat that, forehead girl!

_Sasuke holds Ino's cheek and closes his eyes..._

Ino: -_to herself_...- K-kuso, is he g-g-going to gulp k-k-k-k-kiss me?..

_Ino faints.._

Sasu:-_blinkblink-_ She died..

* * *

lllShikaInolll 

Ino: Shika!

Shika: What?

Ino: -_glomps Shikamaru-_ Ashiteru, Shika-kun!

Shika: -_turns pink...sighs_..- Hountoni kore wa mendouksai..

* * *

lllShikaSakulll 

Saku: We're both smart, so let's get married!

Shika: yay!

* * *

lllInoChoulll 

Ino: Sorry, but you're too fat!

Author: Maa.. I paid you to do this!

Chou: -_eyes turn fiery red..-_ I'M NOT FAT! I'M CHUBBY!

* * *

lllShikaChoulll 

Shika: I love you, Chouji.

Chou: Love-_chomp-_you-_chompchomp-_too..-_chompchompchomp-_

Chou: Want potato chips?

Shika: yay!

* * *

lllNaruChoulll 

Naru: We're both fat, so let's get married!

Chou: Yay!.. But I'm not fat! Just chubby! -_whines-_

Naru: -_pats Chouji's head..-_ here.. -_hands him a bowl of ramen-_

Chou: -_eats the ramen...gets starry-eyed...-_ This is good... Me want some more! -_whines-_

Naru: D-demo...I don't have money anymore...My wallet's empty! See? -_shows empty wallet to Chouji...and a fly was trapped in one of the pockets...poor thing.. gets teary-eyed...cries_- waaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh! I'm broke!

* * *

lllInoSakulll 

InoSaku: -_bows head-_ GOMEN NE FOR ALL THE THINGS I'VE DONE TO YOU, SAKURA/INO-CHAN! I PROMISE I'LL NEVER DO IT AGAIN!

InoSaku: -_blinkblink-_ ONE MORE THING...I LOVE YOU!

InoSaku: -_imitates Sasuke and Neji's high-pitched giggles...-_

_Sakura glomps Ino_

Ino: -_gives Sakura a light peck on the cheek...blushes..-_

* * *

lllKibaShinolll 

Kiba: -_glopms on Shino-_ Luvya, Shino-kun!

Shino: ..hn...

Kiba: Why won't you answer me! ll2ll -_tears starts to leak from those kawaii puppy-like eyes-_

Shino: 'shiteru, Kiba-koi.

_Kiba hugs Shino_

Shino: -_...turns into different shades of blue...- _s-stop...suff..suffocate...ing..-_dies-_

Kiba: Huh?...Shino? -_sniffs Shino all doggy-like..-_ Shino? -_licks and his cheek..-_ Shino-kun? Shino? Oi, Aburame! -_pokes Shino on the chest..hard..-_ NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! HE DIED!

_Shino drools.._

Kiba: -_...realizes Shino's drooling all over the place...- _ahou! -_smacks Shino hard on the head-_

Shino: -_snores..keeps on drooling..-_

* * *

lllKibaShinoXHinalll 

KibaShino: WE LOVE YOU, HINATA-CHAN!

Hinata: S-Sorry..d-demo, I am already in l-love with someone..

KibaShino: -_sighs deeply..-_

* * *

lllKibaSakulll 

Kiba: uhmm...do I know you?

Saku: er...I'm not sure..but you seem quite familiar...

Kiba: Yeah...Let's get married anyways!

Saku: Sure!

* * *

lllShinoSakulll 

Shino: ...

Saku: ...

Shino: ...

Saku: ...

Shino: ... -_begins talking to his bugs...-_

Saku: -_sweatdrops O-o;;;-_

* * *

lllNaruHinalll 

Naru: Hinata-chan...I think I'm starting to fall for you...-_a tinge of crimson is present in Naruto's face-_

Hina:_ -glomps on Naruto-_ Oh, Naruto-kun! You don't know how long I've dreamt of this to happen!

Naru: -_gets wide-eyed..O-O-_ Hinata-chan! You've stopped stuttering!

Hina: -_blink-_ I guess I did...

Naru: So can we go out sometime?

Hina: Of course!

* * *

lllSasuHinalll 

Sasu: I like you, Hinata.

Hina: Gomen, Sasuke-san. But I already have someone I like in mind..

_Naruto dies_

Hina: -_is still unfazed-_ No matter how much you express to me your feelings, Sasuke—

Sasu: -_sees Naruto..dead..cries hysterically-_ Naruto! NARUTO! WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME LIKE THIS! WHAT I SAID TO YOU IS EARLIER IS COMPLETELY TRUE! I LOVE YOU!

Hina: O-O;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; -_to herself-_ I thought he's straight?...

* * *

lllSakuHinalll 

Saku: Hinata-chan..I don't know how to say this..But..I mean..I know you're my friend and I think saying this might affect our friendship and all..But..But...I love you!..there..I said it...-_blushes-_

Hina: Sorry, Sakura-chan..But I like Naruto-kun...-_Naruto dies for the 2nd time_...- So Sakura-chan, do you have any plans this Friday?

Saku: ...

* * *

lllGaaNarulll 

Naru: Aishiteru, Gaara-kun..

Gaa: I love you, my kyuubi..and I will always do.

* * *

lllGaaSakulll 

Gaa: You look familiar..

Saku: Suna no Gaara..

Gaa: Those jade eyes..they seem familiar...

Saku: Gaara of the Dessert..

Gaa: And that pink hair...

Saku: Shukaku's Child...

Gaa: ...that uber wide forehead...

Saku: Naruto's koibito..

Gaa: Let's get married!

Saku: Sure!

* * *

lllSasuGaalll 

Gaa: Those deep obsidian pools that turns into deep crimson blood... Sasuke, I adore you!

Sasu: hn...whatever..

* * *

lllItaSasulll 

Sasu: Oh God! I think I am falling in love with my own heartless brother! But I must hate him and avenge my clan! He practically -_reads script-_ WHAT? I can't say this!

Author: Hey! I'm not paying you so you can just joke around!

Sasu: WTF? You're not even paying me and you gave my chocolate to that damned Naruto!

Author: Just do it! And please, for God's sake! Add more feelings, will you?

Sasu: -_mutters-_ You worthless piece of shit...

Author: NOW OR ELSE!

Sasu: -_as emotional as a sedated computer-_ Oh God! I think I am falling in love with my own heartless brother! But I must hate him and avenge my clan! He practically killed our whole family, leaving me as the only survivor of the infamous Uchiha Clan!

Itachi: -_dramatic entrance-_ Don't hate me, my dearest brother! I LOVE YOU!

Sasu: Oh! Is that so? Even though I spent all my life thinking ways on how to kill you, I'm falling in love with you!

ItaSasu: -_hugs-_

* * *

xxxENDxxx

* * *

**A/N**

**I'm so sorry... I know.. Its not funny at all...**

**Geez.. I don't have to repeat myself twice now, do i?**

**ll1ll Mr. Choco Robo Pudding- From Hunter X Hunter**

**ll2ll'Why Won't You Answer Me?'- a KibaShino fic by Saroya..Check it out..**

**Again, R&R, please! Domo! Add in your reviews any pair that I missed out!**

**I am so sorry for the crappy formatting... hope you guys would understand..**

**Hope you guys enjoyed reading this as much as i enjoyed writing it...**


End file.
